Episode 8: Love playing dressup – Neha Gandhi

Yamini  00:11

Can you hear my toddler in the back? You should be able to hear him now. 

Well, I felt exactly like him fumbling through the podcasting journey, trying to decipher every dorm, understanding gears and editing tool to presenting you with stories that meant so much to our women. But wait, why am I talking about my toddler right now? Well, because of the toddler confidence. I wanted that kind of confidence. 

You know, where you walk in, and you think you own the world, and that you can do amazing stuff without even knowing. That’s the kind of confidence I wanted for this podcast and I think I’m pretty close to that. I’m just kidding. 

So let’s start, this episode will cover a lot of points on social media content, social media platforms, influencing, quizzes, real vs reel life, so stay tuned till the end, because there’s also surprises and announcement for you guys and I cannot wait to share that with you.

Imagine being in your early 20s and leaving home for good to pursue your education and dreams in a totally different country, scary and adventurous all at the same time, right? I’m sure it is. 

So one fine day, I randomly spotted her on my Instagram, mindless browsing. And I found that she lived in my community and that was a very surprising, and I was amazed. She had 1000s of followers. She was quoted by boston globe instyle magazine. She also featured on the radio channel. Guess one, I was totally totally in awe of her. 

I was literally stalking her everywhere and then we met and I can tell you that she has this very distinct thing about her. Her laughter stays with you even after the conversation. “love playing dress up” is her blog and Instagram handle. She’s also a new mom who has a full time corporate job and wear so many hats. 

Thank you so much for coming to our show Neha. Welcome.

Neha Gandhi  02:46

I’m so happy to be here.

Yamini  02:49

So the journey from following a passion to becoming an influencer. Did you envision this clearly, or you just went along following your passion to day one waking up to this.

Neha Gandhi  02:59

Honestly, when I started the blog, there wasn’t anything, such as being an influencer, or even the word blogger was very less known. I didn’t start out to be a blogger, I honestly started out to start journaling my life. And, and I think just over time, the industry grew my following in terms of people who were relating to what I was sharing that grew. And and I think it was just a journey that took its own life. And here we are.

Yamini  03:38

So, what does “love playing dress up” mean to you. And by the way, I love the name and the logo.

Neha Gandhi  03:43

Thank you. So “love playing dress up” when I started, It was really about a journey of that phase of my life that I was writing about I had a little bit of a personal diary on the internet, whatever that means in today’s world, but I have a love for writing. So that’s how I started that blog, my space on the internet. I was struggling with a lot of body issues at that time. This was the time when I was doing my masters and struggling with body issues. And I just started journaling there were a lot of things that I was going through. I was from a different culture, different background, different accents, different values, just everything different in a country far far, far away from home and then struggling with all those things along with body image issues which are so prominent being in college.

Yamini  04:38

This is quite fascinating me how because I grew up in India and this was more prominent there as well in colleges. It was about the skin color, the weight and people get bullied for no matter what. And judge for no matter what

Neha Gandhi  04:53

You don’t know who you are. You’re struggling for your identity and throw in body image issues. I just, I think people who go through it understand what it is. And for those who don’t, it’s an amazing thing. I think nobody should have to worry about their body image. But I think it’s just a rite of passage for some people as for my life, that I had to go through it and, and I started writing about it. And then I slowly started having people relate to it, that grew into my journey. And my love for fashion and, getting dressed up. And just as a means of adding confidence to my myself and my daily life. That’s how it started transforming into “love playing dress up”. 

“Love playing dress up” really, what it means at the basic core is dressing up small elements of your life. So it doesn’t have to relate to fashion, it doesn’t have to relate to clothes, it doesn’t mean expensive clothes, it doesn’t mean makeup or styling, it just means like dressing up little aspects of your life, it could be a tiny space in your house, which is your sanctuary and you dress it up, that makes you feel good. It could mean taking a small trip, and making it glamorous in your own way. And that’s how you feel good. So those are the little elements of your life that you want to dress up and and just feel good about yourself to bring out the best version of yourself.

Yamini  06:27

I am loving this conversation Neha. Some of the big names in social media influencing come from Instagram, when did you decide that Instagram will be the best place to start? I mean, of course, apart from blogging.

Neha Gandhi  06:40

I don’t think Instagram is the best platform for me. And for any influencer, who wants or any person who wants to make blogging as their career or social media, choosing a path of social media as a career, I would definitely not say that Instagram should be the chosen platform, should it be that it should really be your own blog, or website. Or it could be an email list that you have where you share your thoughts with people who follow you. 

But Instagram in itself is not a platform that you own. You don’t own its algorithm, you don’t own how it functions. It could be the social media platforms of today. And then a few years down the line, it might not be relevant. Who knows what’s going to be the future of Instagram? So definitely not! I did not start with Instagram. I also, every time somebody reaches out to me to ask for any tips around this topic, specifically, I always say don’t put your eggs in the Instagram basket, not all of them.

Yamini  07:49

Well, that’s a very unique advice, because Instagram is so popular right now. And you don’t see it fading anytime soon. But you never know. Because there have been so many social media sites, which have just, you know, come and go. And so I’m sure you know, things like that do happen, and you cannot keep all the eggs in the same basket.

Neha Gandhi  08:08

Yeah, that’s the thing. Instagram definitely is very relevant today. A lot of people seek instant gratification via Instagram, because it directly shows you the number of followers and people related to success and the number of likes and engagement and it is directly associated with success. And that is I totally see where somebody on the outside would perceive it that way. But I truly believe in having a platform that you own, having a readership that you have cultivated over the years that really belongs and is true to you versus what’s on Instagram. I really feel a social media platform shouldn’t be anyone’s primary mode of starting.

So there are so many fashionistas migrant influences, these beautiful accounts on Instagram, do you see them as competition to your account? And what’s your competitive advantage?

I honestly don’t think of being on Instagram as any means of competition because everybody is so different. I totally see when anybody would feel that it’s competitive. And I’m not saying I don’t feel it’s competitive when you are in the industry, when you are trying to build a brand. Every account on Instagram is your peer. But I don’t think of it as competition because ultimately what my blog, what my site, what my voice is really about is my life. I cannot even compete with value. It’s unique and it’s true with any other account. 

So it’s true when you look at competition. If a brand seeking out to work with somebody on Instagram. At that point, getting a brand campaign from one person to another might seem like competition, but really, when you perceive your own brand, you can’t think of it as competition at all, because it’s really about your voice. And there’s just no way that one voice would be similar to the other. And, when you think about it, there’s always room for every unique voice to stand out.

Yamini  10:28

That’s a very deep part, you know, everybody is unique, and they have a space for themselves in this world. Like they say, be yourself, because everybody else has already taken. But there are people who have been here, done that. Do you look at them for insights and inspiration.

Neha Gandhi  10:46

I definitely seek inspiration, I like to see what people in the industry are doing. And honestly, I feel I’ve reached that point of maturity in my own self, I feel so comfortable in my own skin, and my own voice that I don’t feel like I have to mimic someone. If I’ve been there, trust me, I’ll be the first one to admit that there have been times where I’ve tried to mimic something that seems successful. A certain way of photography, a certain way of posing, a certain way of writing. And it’s true for anything I feel, as you go through life and you’re trying to do something, you always try to see what has been successful and try to gain inspiration. 

I’ve been at a point where I was probably even mimicking, trying to mimic some things. And it doesn’t work. It doesn’t feel like yourself. It just feels unnatural. It’s not you and that doesn’t work. And I feel I’ve reached that point of maturity. That comfort level with my own self that I don’t. I know, I feel very confident in the fact that if I try to mimic someone, it’s not going to be successful. And it’s not me it just doesn’t make me happy.

Yamini  12:08

Everyone is so overwhelmed with always on social media world. Are there times when you just lay back and detox completely or for extended period of time?

Neha Gandhi  12:18

Oh my god. So, so much. Yes, I’ve been doing that a lot lately, especially being a mom, I think that is something I consciously tried to do even more. For example, when I come back from work in the evening, that time until my daughter goes to bed is my time completely away from social media, away from the phone, I’m not tracking emails. I do have my phone in my hand because I love to capture her videos like any other parent, any other obsessive parent taking pictures and videos all the time of their kids. But that’s my social media detox, every single day. It’s just a rule in our house, to keep our phones aside and to just be in the moment.

Yamini  13:08

Neha, everything is done so professionally on your page, on your website. How many people do you have in your team to produce this kind of content?

Neha Gandhi  13:20

I do have a little team. I have an assistant who helps me out with emails and keeping up with things like that, but otherwise, it’s really me and my husband, scouting for location. 

Yamini  13:36

So talking about family Neha. This brings me to the next question, how has motherhood changed things in your life? You know, with your blogging life, with your Instagram Life and corporate life? 

So, you know how I was talking about that maturity, that I’ve come up to the confidence in my own skin feeling good about my own self? I think that’s a big change that motherhood brought into me. I’m okay with not focusing on things that don’t matter, I can easily pull myself away from the frivolous T of things. The competition that would have otherwise bothered me in the past doesn’t bother me anymore because I know what’s important. I know what really means to me what’s going to give me happiness. So, I think mother hood has definitely improved me.

And I think it happens to us mothers, we start organizing our life as soon as there’s a new human, little human on the way.

Neha Gandhi  14:38

Yeah, it centers us around the things that are important.

Yamini  14:42

This is interesting, so life can be so hectic and here you are managing a full time job, a baby and your passion. Has there been times that this has given you heart aches or headaches? Talking about the cyber harassment and trolling? 

Neha Gandhi  14:58

I think I have very thick skin and I really let negative comments roll off my back very easily. The only times they bother me is when they are relative to me being a mother, or directed to my child, those are the only times they really bother me. I definitely never respond back like so that’s my rule number one. I don’t actively block them per se, I just don’t respond to negative comments. 

If there’s a negative comment on my feed, which is in the public, I deleted because I just like my space to be positive. Because there have been times in the past when somebody would leave a negative comment and it ended up being into a conversation of strangers, exploding into much more negativity. So I think I’ve taken a lesson from that and just deleted negative comments from the public eye and things that I get via email or private message. I just completely choose to ignore them. There were times when I tried to justify myself and I think when people are coming from a place of negativity, there’s no way you can justify.

Yamini  16:13

Influencers are always on the globe for their stories. They are sharing things every minute, every second, and we’ve already spoken about how you were taking a digital detox, and you said yes, but what’s your take on this kind of lifestyle where you don’t know when you’re real in real life? And when you have the virtual, the phone in your hand? What’s your take? How do you manage to keep it separate? When you’re going out?

Neha Gandhi  16:42

I think I’ve come a long way from being in that where I just had this urge to share every single moment of my life. And I still struggle with it sometimes. But again, I think it really goes back to the point where I know that if I am with my husband and my daughter, or if I’m having a good meal with my friends, I am okay with not sharing every single bit of my life. Or I just maybe capture a few moments and then just share them later, versus being in the moment and then being stuck to my phone trying to share them in real time. So I find my balance in a way that I can enjoy the moment. But I can also find a way to share those moments later.

Yamini  17:32

Now, I know that people are very bad when they are very passionate about certain things. They give their 100% in fact more than that. But when you have a full time job and you’re a full time mom too, you’re basically thinking about your child, even when you’re in the office. So, I call it full time. What do you do exactly to handle the accountability part of the passion, accountability part of the side hustle that you’re doing.

Neha Gandhi  18:02

So I’ll say this in two parts, when I started in the very beginning, there was definitely no strategy to it. But then slowly as it started evolving, there’s one thing that I always believe in is, if you don’t take yourself seriously, people are not going to take you seriously. So if you start treating your work, even if you’re accountable, if you are the only person accountable for yourself, if you start eating guess like a true business, like a true job, then you are responsible to it, you are answerable to it. So that automatically gives it that strategizing spin to it. So I do have a strategy. I do have goals for myself, I do have a scheduling calendar, editorial calendar, and things like that. However, the second point to this I would make is having all of that. I also know that being a mom and having a full time job. Yeah, I have to be flexible with my my goals and scheduling and sometimes things slip. So at that time, I really have to know where my priorities lie. And I make it work.

Yamini  19:19

That’s all you were talking about when you started there was no such specific strategy. So what would you do differently if you were starting now in this.

Neha Gandhi  19:28

It depends on if I were to start it as a business versus as a passion. When I started, there was no concept of the influencer space being so business-like or you having to be so strategic about things. It was very much more like a passion and more like a diary journaling. So it really depends if I were to start today, if I were in the same mindset of I just want to share my story with people it would be a different take, versus I want to make it a career.

Yamini  20:01

What inspired you all along? What was that one moment or couple of moments where initially, when you were doing this, you felt like, “Yes, I think I’m doing it right. I think I’m on my way.” I mean, what made you feel special, that one instance, or story.

Neha Gandhi  20:20

Every single time whether it was in the start when I was starting, and nobody but my mom read my blog. And today when I went, there are people who are my internet friends, people, readers, followers, whatever you call them. Irrespective of where I am in my journey, anytime I’ve heard from anyone that I’ve shared something out, and they related to it, or it added a little bit of positivity in their life, I think that in itself always is a boost to me.

Yamini  20:59

Now, when I first found you on Instagram, I was drawn to your writing, I loved reading your captions. And of course, I understand pictures are on any social media platforms are the first call of attention. But what’s your preference, caption and/or picture? You know, because I clearly see that you’re so fond of writing.

Neha Gandhi  21:22

I’m so glad you say that. Because I truly believe that picture is a way to just capture an attention. But to me at the core, I have always wanted to be the person telling a story. 

Yamini  21:36

So now, what’s the most common misconception about what you do?

Neha Gandhi  21:41

Oh, my God, people think that this is a bit. I’m doing nothing but just getting ready and getting my pictures taken. And people think it’s frivolous. And it’s not word, there’s nothing that goes behind it. And a person who’s getting their own pictures taken is narcissist, and things like that.

Yamini  22:02

And another one that I’ve read somewhere was when people think that you’re always ready, you’re always dressed up,

Neha Gandhi  22:09

You are so right. I think I definitely love dressing up and not just that. I always say that it’s not about what you wear, it’s just about feeling good in what you’re wearing it just adds a little bit of confidence to your otherwise self. So I’m always dressed up you would see. But when I am not getting a photoshoot done, when I’m not on my nine to five job, you’re always going to find me in the in the most laid back loads in my tracks and my sweatshirts. Always. That’s like my mom uniform.

Yamini  22:50

What would you suggest someone who’s starting now or has already started? Do you know how to approach brands and campaigns or just agencies or website? Or what what would be your advice?

Neha Gandhi  23:04

I think there are a lot of avenues today where you can connect with agencies directly. But there’s this one thing I believe in. If there is something that you want to do is as a brand that you associate with, then you should be able to pitch yourself, for anybody who’s starting out. That’s always something that you should be able to do no matter where you are in your career. When you’re starting off, it might be a smaller brand that you want to associate yourself with. be in that position, be confident enough to pitch yourself.

Yamini  23:39

What has been your favorite campaign so far?

Neha Gandhi  23:41

I think I only associate myself with campaigns that I truly love. So I have always loved every campaign that I’ve chosen to be a part of. However, the one campaign which gave me an opportunity to be on billboards across malls. 

Yamini  24:03

Oh, wow, that must be an incredible feeling. 

Neha Gandhi  24:06

I know. So they are!

Yamini  24:08

What’s your vision with this? This is your passion. And then you also have a job that you love you told me. And then you’re absolutely loving your chapter of motherhood. So how do you envision this in future? What do you want to do with this? Do you want to blow this into a big business? Or just have this amazing flexibility of having all of it going along well?

Neha Gandhi  24:32

Yeah, but honestly, in my situation, it has always been something that I do on the side. But in terms of flexibility, it’s not flexible. I have to make more time for it.

Yamini  24:46

That is so true. Yeah. I completely agree with you on that. I mean, that’s what amazed me when I was talking like I said in the beginning that you’re doing these things, so well. Everything requires your 100% attention when you’re doing things.

Neha Gandhi  25:04

I think being a mom requires 500%!

Yamini  25:12

Neha, how do you think this social media platform is going to evolve in the near future? What do you see the Instagram future as what are your foresight?

Neha Gandhi  25:21

I think this space is definitely the one to watch. Just not solely Instagram, but just digital space itself, digital marketing itself, because everyone is so connected to their phones and the internet. So that’s the place to be. So it doesn’t have to be just Instagram alone. But there are going to be so many avenues like your podcast is one of those. So there are various avenues where people can explore and make careers out of. I think it’s a wonderful time to be.

Yamini  25:56

So what will be your advice to someone who wants to start right now? Like what would be that two cent you would give them.

Neha Gandhi  26:02

You have to know exactly who you are, and be exactly that person. Don’t try to mimic someone who seems to be successful. Because what you see in that one small square of Instagram, you don’t see the story behind it. People are only showing the most curated, photoshopped, edited version in those Instagram squares. But there’s a journey that goes behind it. There are struggles. There are tribulations and sacrifices. There are overnight of real blood, sweat and tears that go into making each and every piece of content that people share. So, I think a lot of people have this perception that “Oh, Instagram life is so easy. Being a blogger being an influencer on Instagram is such an easy life.” But just because you don’t see the journey behind it, doesn’t make it easy. 

So, you have to start with your own journey. And I’ll say this, for anyone starting, you have to be yourself. And the reason I say this, I emphasize so much on this is because it’s a lesson that I have learned myself along the way. When I started with this, and I was starting to take Instagram and my blog a bit more seriously. I would read and I would research on how people make it work. Everybody would say this one thing, “be yourself.” And honestly, it baffles my mind as to “what? Yeah, what does that even mean? What do you mean by “Be yourself”? How does that equate to success?” And then ultimately, along the way, you realize that if you try to copy someone that’s not you, and it’s going to show very clearly.

And I think because this space is so saturated. If you are not showing something unique out there, why is someone going to go to a minus one version of something that’s already successful? Why would I see or read something which is already successfully out there, and a less good version of it. So I don’t have any value, everybody’s time is very valuable, I’m not going to put my time to something that is not good. But I would rather like to see something that’s really unique. And that’s the only thing that stands out. And that’s that’s why there’s always place for everyone because everybody’s their own unique person. So people have to be their own self, find their own self find their own passion, and reflect that. And once that starts coming out, people start seeing you, there are people who will relate to your story. And, that’s the path.

Yamini  28:43

How do you engage with so many followers? 1000s of them, how do you return their DMs? Or If not,, is there a fixed number that you would want to DM back?

Neha Gandhi  28:52

I do return every single dm that I get. I would say on a given day, I get about 6200 DMs a day and I think at the end of the day, I take time and respond to everyone. Sometimes I’m really backed up and I respond to them maybe at the end of the week or something. There are times when I get more than 300 DMS on on some posts. And it just explodes & it sometimes becomes a lot. I don’t even know how to explain this. But every single message that I get is a way for me to connect with people. 

And that is one of the biggest reasons why I started the blog. When I started the blog and there was no concept of the blogging industry or the Instagram industry or nothing like that. My sole purpose was to write and connect with people who shared the story. To say my story and to listen to theirs, and that was my sole purpose of the blog. And if somebody writes to me, I don’t even think I’m obligated to return it to them. I have to because it gives me immense happiness to connect back.

Yamini  30:17

I see, I know, it’s so beautiful Neha. I mean, when you said that, I was just thinking of all the DMs that you’ve returned mine, and I think you’ve always answered my DMs. Alright, we are at our walkways now. And we will begin in just a second, I’m just going to tell you the rules, the rule is to sip some wine, which is right in front of you, and answer the questions as fast as you can. I mean, you can take time but there’s no rule.

Neha Gandhi  30:45

And she’s serving some really good wine people.

Yamini  30:49

Alright, so what will be your dream brand to work with.

Neha Gandhi  30:52

Chanel, Dior. I don’t know why, the list is endless. These names that come to my mind. But there’s so many. I would love to work with travel brands.

Yamini  31:07

Travel brands? that’s interesting. All right. So, who are your role models?

Neha Gandhi  31:12

My parents, and my husband.

Yamini  31:16

Favorite podcast or podcast episode?

Neha Gandhi  31:19

I am an avid podcast listener. So I have a few of them that I really love. How I built this bike is one of my favorites. And there’s boss files by poppy Harlow, by CNN. That’s another one that I really love.

Yamini  31:38

Good. Okay, next question. favorite author? 

Neha Gandhi  31:42

Jeffrey Archer. 

Neha Gandhi  31:43

Okay. Current favorite show on Netflix prime or anything that you’re watching?

Oh, my God. So, Office Reruns are always on; Gilmore Girls are always on. So these are just reruns. You know, these are just like, mindless watching that I truly love. But I finished the game of thrones finale. I loved that. I mean, it didn’t live up to the expectations. But I think it was a well made show.

Yamini  32:09

Okay, coming back. Things you would do if you had a spare afternoon.

Neha Gandhi  32:14

Oh my god, I think I’m gonna need at least a full day to plan out that spare afternoon. The list is so long. But I think I’ve just got a kick my feet up and read. I love reading and I don’t get as much time today. 

Yamini  32:30

Okay, following on that question, what is the definition of self care in your dictionary,

Neha Gandhi  32:36

Just doing anything, no matter how little it is to make yourself happy. In little things like having my morning coffee, with a little dash of syrup in it. That makes me happy and that’s my self care. Finding five minutes at the end of the day and reading two pages of my book. That’s my version of self care. So the little moments you sneak in to make yourself happy.

Yamini  33:00

That is so true. Thank you so much, Neha, those are some amazing answers to my random questions. I see that our wine glasses are empty. But you know, we’ll take this conversation outside the studio. Thank you so much for coming to our show. It was a pleasure having you here.

Neha Gandhi  33:17

Thank you so much for having me. This was fun.

Yamini  33:19

This was Neha and me, your host, talking about social media influencing platforms, blogging and everything under the roof. I hope you enjoyed the conversation. If you did, please do not forget to rate review and subscribe to our channel on Apple podcast or any other app that you’re listening to. That will be very, very appreciated. 

I have grown and learned so much from these ladies who have come to our show and been raw, vulnerable and absolutely genuine with us in sharing their stories. I’m hoping to see you all in the next season.

So stay tuned. Keep listening you will listening to the Women of Wayland podcast and this is your host Yamini.

Shopping Cart